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Top Dating Apps Roll Out “Rate My Penis” Feature

Yep, you read that right. Top players in the matchmaking game have decided to hit below the belt in what is most definitely the first feature of its kind. The “Rate My Penis” feature uses artificial intelligence to create a 3D rendering of your manhood, including it in your dating profile. While the highly controversial move has sent many into a tizzy, there is an option to opt out so you’re not involuntarily exposed to someone’s AI pecker.

This new feature accurately represents length, girth, and shape, allowing users to interact with your Johnson as if they’re shopping for a new shirt. The feature is currently experimenting with sensitivity and erectile function tools, which these apps plan to unveil come the new year. 

While users can choose to opt in and out of the feature, many have found it to be quite helpful in voluntarily choosing their sexual partner. For folks hopping on these apps seeking one-night stands, companies have reported that it has been the most effective feature by far.

“Rate My Penis” Features

You might be weary about creating an AI version of your main vein. We get it. In efforts to help you better understand what these apps are doing, let’s break down the features for you.

Length. You must be fully erect to get length as this measures from base to tip for the most accurate reading.

Girth: It’s all about circumference so the feature takes the thickest part of your shaft also when fully erect.

Shape. Doesn’t matter if it curves, bends, twists, or stays straight. We’ve found a pretty accurate reading when it comes to shape.

Sensitivity. We’re not quite sure how these apps plan to measure sensitivity, but our curiosity is peaked.

Function. Definitely not sure how these folks plan to implement erectile function. Possibly a survey? We’d sure as hell embellish a bit.

This whole feature is certainly a wild move, especially in today’s climate. We’re eager to see whether this evolves further, or if it’s cancelled faster than my cousin’s wedding after his bride cheated on him.

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