The 5 Best Dating App Pick-Up Lines

Dating is hard. First impressions are harder. Making a first impression on a dating app is probably the hardest thing ever (minus those who have lost loved ones, got played by Bernie Madoff, voted for Bernie Sanders, or have gotten a splinter).

Here at NewsToob, we want to help our readers overcome the hurdle of pick-up lines. 

After 7,043 matches, 4,233 messages, and 1,334 dick pics, we have determined the best pick-up lines. This experiment has been performed with the utmost scientificity (BONUS: use scientificity on Words With Friends™ to pick up recently divorced, 50-year-old men).

#5. “I just want to have a person under my complete control.” – Jeff Dahmer

#4. “I’ve hated humans for a long time.” – Aileen Wuornos

#3. “I like hurting little things that can’t fight back.” – Mary Bell

#2. “I was born with the devil in me.” – H.H. Holmes

#1. “I’m sorry for two things…I have mistreated a few animals and I’m unable to murder the whole human race” – Carl Panzram

These pick-up lines work ridiculously well on women. Maybe it’s true crime podcasts, maybe it’s Maybelline.