Top Baby Names For 2023

With every generation comes new trends. Some stand the test of time, and others leave us hanging our heads in shame as we look back at the evidence. As millennials have risen to power, cultural game changers like Tik Tok dances, tiny backpacks, and disturbingly short hipster bangs have taken the world by storm.

As I look at my Instagram feed and see a daunting number of friends who are “so excited to announce that their family will be growing by ten fingers and ten toes in the new year!”, I can’t help but wonder how the age of tastemakers who let WAP take over the nation will completely fuck up their kids lives when choosing their names.

The NewsToob team did some top tier research and polled a group of twenty somethings, asking them for their favorite baby names. After we sifted through the looks of disgust brought on by the mere suggestion of parenthood, here’s what we came up with:

 5 Upcoming Baby Names in 2023

1. Interstate 5

We’ve all asked our parents for the origin stories of our names, and many of us have had them cite the place of our conception and/or birth as the inspiration. It’s classy, sentimental, and the perfect tribute to where our lives began, so why not take it a step further. Later, Virginia. we get that your home state is for lovers, and we love that for you, but it’s time for those of us who entered the world in bumper to bumper freeway traffic to shine.

2. Mohammed 

For those mommies and daddies to-be who really want to think out of the box, this is the name for you. It’s unique, easy to pronounce, and so much better than common names like, John. What more could you want?

3. Lizzo

A whole generation of ladies named their baby girls after the iconic Princess Diana, so that begs the question, “Who is the Lady Di of the millennial world?” Obviously, it’s Queen Lizzo. It’s about damn time our girl got the recognition she deserves, and here’s to manifesting my future child being born with a flute in hand and breaking out into a solo upon laying eyes on me.

4. BushDid9/11

It’s important that every generation takes a moment to honor pivotal moments in its history. For a group of individuals obsessed with conspiracy theories, this is the perfect name. Can you imagine yelling that name at your toddler on the playground? Exquisite! Plus, it’s gender neutral!

5. DaInfant

Ya’ll ever met a baby named something that only suits an old person? This one’s for the Chad’s and Roberta’s of the world. DaInfant tells you exactly what you’re looking at, while also aging like fine wine!